There’s been a lot going on recently that has been anxiety-producing…an unusual amount of mass murder, a trainwreck of a political circus, and, of course, personal stuff. There are so many things that I would change if I could. The inherent unfairness of life weighs on my spirit. I desperately want to help make the world a better place — or at least a kinder one… but I am one Rachael. I can only do so much.
- Stop complete strangers from shooting, stabbing, or running over people.
- End systemic racism.
- Fix end-stage capitalism or neo-feudalism.
- Make the geopolitical landscape either make sense or work the way that I want it to.
- Force anybody’s political ideals or morals to match my own.
- Make any decisions about American domestic or foreign policy.
- Disarm all the nuclear bombs in the world.
- Make teething less painful for my son.
- Force the higher-ups at anyone’s place of employment to make wise decisions for the health and morale of their workers.
- Make it any easier or more fun for anyone to look for a job.
- Know whether or not the estriol treatment is having a positive effect on my MS.
- Know whether or not it would be more beneficial for me to get back on Copaxone or if I should try to convince my neurologist to let me try Lemtrada or Ocrevus… or if I should just keep doing Vitamin D and estriol.
- Know when the optimal time actually is to have a second child. (I have been thinking about this particular question way too much recently.)
- Make Humana stop messing up my medical billing from over a year ago.
- Make the muscles in my arms and legs stop randomly, painfully spasming (though cannabis does a good job of quieting it down for a few hours at a time)
- Cure MS or seizure disorder… or any other medical condition, for that matter.
- Blow thousands of dollars and hire a full staff. All I want is a maid, a gardener, a contractor to renovate our home, a nanny, a full-time driver, and an on-call masseuse, so that I can get all the things done that I feel need to be done. Totally reasonable, right?
Panic and despair don’t help anything, and no one else can “fix” life either.
I recognize that I’m not helpless to be at the effect of these worries and situations.
- Meditate and let the fear pass.
- Take all my prescribed medicines as scheduled.
- Talk with my therapist when I need to.
- Hold my baby tight, love him with all my heart, and teach him to be compassionate to himself and others.
- Do as much housework as possible to help relieve some stress for my husband while also showing myself in a clear way that I make a visible difference in the world around me.
- Make healthy food choices for my family.
- Comfort friends who are sad.
- Find a way to compliment or show appreciation to every person I talk to.
- Make music and art.
- Share my experiences so that others who face similar challenges don’t feel so alone.
- Be an ally, an advocate, and involve myself in the community
- Do my best to both give myself credit for what I already do and still be ambitious.
- Choose optimism.
- Focus on gratitude.
- Consciously look for the good in life.
- Remember that I don’t have to read my FB newsfeed like it’s my part-time job. I don’t need to internalize anyone else’s stress.
My mantra for the last few weeks has been this, and it’s serving me very well: