Pregnancy Is So Cool. (Pun intended.)

Yesterday was awesome! I got an email from Erin over at Polar Products, letting me know that they’d chosen one of my reviews to feature on their blog.  I was totally surprised and excited to see that they also linked here!  I figured that was a big hint that I might want to update. 🙂

Week 25

25eggplantAside from being vegetables, what do a head of cauliflower, a rutabaga, and an eggplant all have in common?  They all are used to represent the size of a fetus at 25 weeks.   Please pardon me while I scratch my head.

Like any good cook, I’ve picked out each of these types of produce at a market, and they are not even kind of the same shape or size. I think, based on what I saw at Jewel, that the eggplant is probably the closest in shape and size to a baby.  But whatever!

As far as the baby goes, things seem to be well. Kiddo has definitely slipped into sleep cycles, which would be much cooler if he’d actually sleep when I sleep. Instead, the action of lying down to sleep seems to wake him up and make him decide it’s time to practice martial arts or slam dancing.  Of course, now that I’m typing this, he’s smackin me from the inside.  It’s like, “Gah, Mom. Come on. Quit making fun of me! From my perspective, the whole world just turned by 90 degrees for no apparent reason! What do you expect from me!”

rutabegaTomorrow morning, I already know, is going to be a massive pain in the ass.  Last week, my OB had me do a 1 hr glucose test to help determine whether or not I have gestational diabetes. Well, I managed to just barely fail. The number I popped was actually the very lowest number you can get where they still want to test to make sure you don’t have it. Just the luck!

So, tomorrow, I have to be at the hospital at 7:45 a.m.  This wouldn’t be such a big deal if I just kept the same sleep schedule as my husband…but I don’t. In fact, I get most of my restful sleep after he’s gone to work. I’ve been regularly sleeping until 9:30 or 10 a.m. every day, assuring myself that I can use the extra sleep, and that it’s my JOB to enjoy the ability to sleep in right now, since the damn-near sleepless first months are coming soon, and they have no mercy.

cauliflowerUnderstandably, I’m really hoping that I don’t have gestational diabetes, but with my luck, it only makes sense. I mean, if one hundredth of one percent of people get something, it’s like it’s been earmarked for me — and gestational diabetes is actually fairly common. About 9.2% of all pregnant women in the U.S. end up with it. So, I’m rolling with the punches.

I mean, my current diet already mostly fits all of the meal plans for folks on gestational diabetes, with the exception of having more fruit in my green smoothies than the daily recommended amount (of 2 servings – equal to 1 banana) and drinking ginger ale when I’m sick at my stomach…oh, and having the occasional scoop of ice cream after dinner. Guh. Ok. I’m seeing where the sugar is coming in. It’s not like I’m eating a ton of refined sugar or enriched white flour, but there’s definitely room for improvement. Apparently, eating cereal or greek yogurt for breakfast will be a thing of the past. Good thing the egg aversion has gone away!

What protein-rich breakfasts would you suggest?

Register This.

It’s been my responsibility for the last several weeks to put together baby registries at various places. It’s been really eye opening, seeing how many options exist for every little thing – most of which we probably don’t need. (I mean, really, people, which of you crazy bitches is responsible for putting stroller footmuffs on the baby registry checklist? Fess up!) The most surprising (and disturbing) thing has been looking at how prices wildly vary from store to store, and even with the same product, from color to color.


Clearly superior by at least $60.

Take the Graco FastAction Fold Jogger Click Connect Travel System for example. I have registered for it at 3 stores now – Amazon, BuyBuyBaby, and Target.

In the week since I added it, the price for my chosen color (Gotham) has changed dramatically on Amazon. Last week, it was $199. Now it’s $259.03, while the colors “Marathon” and “Chili Red” remain at $199.  Is there really a $60.03 difference? Of course not… which makes it even more bizarre that if you buy the exact same pieces separately (the car seat and the jogging stroller), your total will only be $248, which means you’re paying Amazon an additional $11 for the convenience of buying them as a system.


Just kidding. They are so the same goddamn thing.

At Target, the exact same system costs $299.99 (a full $100 difference!), with no option to buy the pieces separately, while at BuyBuyBaby, the system (regardless of color) costs $319.99. At least there, buying the system makes sense (and will save you $20), since the car seat alone is $149.99 and the stroller is $189.99.

Can anybody explain to me why there’s such a significant difference in price here? Because I sure as hell don’t understand it… and it makes me question all the things that I’ve registered for.  I mean, how do I know that the prices on anything on the list are even comparable today to what they were when I added them?

I made decisions for everything on the registries based on the reviews, consumer reports information, and price point information available at the time. Now, I’ve lost faith in my decisions. This whole process has frustrated the hell out of me. This change in price makes it look like I’m willing to blow $60-$120 for a meaningless cosmetic choice… one that genuinely doesn’t matter to me even one iota.  Or worse, like I want a friend or family member to spend way more than they need to for the exact same gift.

Hey, Universe! Why isn’t there a service out there where you can create a registry and it will create and/or modify all your baby registries at every store that you’ve signed up for, as well as alert you and friends & family to price changes?  I demand more convenience!

All That & A Birth Plan

plansandgodSpeaking of convenience, have you heard about birth plans? TheBump even has one that’s a 6 page print-out checklist. The whole idea of making one seems totally silly to me, because when I make plans, God laughs.

I mean it very seriously when I say that my plan is to show up to the hospital when labor starts with bags for me and the baby, ask for the good drugs, and do whatever the hell they tell me to do from there.  The last thing this type-A Rae needs is to be in pain going, “THIS WASN’T THE PLAN!!!”  The days of me being a control freak in the medical arena are LONG since past. Life has taught me that it’s a special kind of stupid.

All I care about is getting out of there alive with a healthy baby, which is why most of the options on that 6 page print out make me chuckle.  I mean, I’ve never been in labor. How the hell am I supposed know how I want to spend the first part of it, let alone the position I want to assume during delivery? What makes me equipped to make decisions about fetal monitoring or labor augmentation?  That’s exactly the specialized knowledge I require from my high-risk OB.


When I looked at the list for pain relief options, I turned to Adam and asked, “Where’s the checkbox for ‘YES’?”  Seriously, I don’t discriminate. If my doctor thinks something’s gonna make me feel better, DO IT. If he has to knock me the fuck out, I’m fine with that. Just do the job and get me and the baby home safely. Everything else is window dressing.

I honestly think there’s some weird, pervasive cultural conspiracy going on, designed to make expectant mothers lose their minds with decision fatigue and self-doubt.  I’d say that I refuse to play the game, but I’m already in too deep.


3 thoughts on “Pregnancy Is So Cool. (Pun intended.)

  1. Hi Sweetie. I always love reading your blog. I just wanted to let you know that list on the bump is not really realistic. Some of the things in the list you don’t have a choice over. It give you a false impression that you do…at least the way I read it. Also, the articles for the baby when leaving the hospital are a bit much. You don’t need 3 changes of clothes. You don’t need all the things they list.

    Anyway, I hope all goes well tomorrow. I look forward to talking to you afterwards.

    Sending Hugs and Kisses Your Way.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.