I spend so much time talking about depression on here, I think it’s important to write about when I’m happy too.

The Audition Rocked.

Tonight, I auditioned for a local rock band. It was made clear that the group was together for shits and giggles, part-time gigging, and not to make the big time – but I was okay with that. I was in it for the fun too. We played several songs together, and even ended up playing several more songs on the fly that we hadn’t prepared for.  I rocked their originals, and I think overall, I did well.

Do I think they’re going to end up choosing me to be their singer? Who knows!  I don’t know whether or not we meshed all that well as a group. I don’t think we were terribly awkward; I might be reading things wrong. But, overall, I don’t care! I had a ton of fun playing with them!

What was fantastic about tonight was this: I felt confident.  I got to sing. I was able to make music with other people.  I had the opportunity to improvise. I was challenged. I had fun.

I didn’t let anything stop me.

I almost didn’t go to the audition tonight.  I had a sore throat today. I was pretty down on myself. I was tired before the audition. I was nervous about going, and I felt bad about how I looked.  But I dyed my hair, I put on make-up, wore flattering clothes, and I went anyway.  While I was there, they asked me to perform songs that I had only heard once or twice and didn’t even know well, and I just tried my best and had fun anyway!  I am so glad that I did!

There’s nothing like challenging yourself and noticing that you can rise to the occasion. It’s even better when your husband is there to watch you succeed, and afterward to tell you, repeatedly that he is proud of you.

I am worth fighting for. This kind of happiness is worth fighting for.

If I can take anything away from tonight, it’s the knowledge that happiness, equal to the level of depression that I’ve been feeling, is attainable. And more than that, I have what it takes to get it.  It requires me to be honest with the desires I have for my life and determined about chasing them.

So when I say that I want to be a part of a rock band, I mean it.  Is it the one I auditioned with tonight? Maybe. I’ll find out if they’re interested in me sometime in the next week or so.