At some point or other, I forgot that the whole reason that I came off antidepressants was in order to make my body ready to have a child.

This concept makes me shake my head. It makes me furious.

I am at the cusp of ending my own existence because I stopped taking medicine that helped me with depression, because I wanted to make my body ready to create new life.

That is just ironic.

I feel ready to die because I wanted to have a kid.  THAT IS SO WRONG!!!

Now that I am not on any antidepressants, I am no longer having seizures.  I just lack the will to live.

NOT A FAIR TRADE.

I want the pills back. I’m willing to take the seizures with them as long as it means being out of this hell.

And screw me for even thinking of creating someone who might have to suffer like I’m suffering. That’s not love. That’s selfishness.