Monday, Monday…

Well, it’s been 2 full days without Lamictal now, and I’m starting to actually feel more like myself. I recognized myself in the mirror and I actually smiled this morning. Smiled, like I like myself!

Well if that’s not a step in the right direction, I don’t know what is.

Saturday, we went to the adoption fair at Petco, just like I said we were going to. Unfortunately, we found out that the kittens we were going to foster were a lot older than we are used to, so we had to back out. Brisco can hang with kittens that are 3-8 weeks old when we get them because he treats them like babies… but 18 week old kittens have another name. They’re called cats. I mean, they’re just shy of 6 months old and are basically full grown. They’re done with their socialization period, and Brisco is more likely to chase them down than to lick them and show them the ropes of life. We don’t need that kind of crazy in this house.

So, Adam and I are looking for other rescue organizations in the area and other kittens to foster.

Today, so far has been pretty decent. Coffee, a trip to Walgreens to pick up meds and some cereal, a little Sims 3, and some Facebook.

I wish I were going to Memphis to visit my Poppy, who is not feeling so well. My parents are off to Memphis to visit him and help him get healthier. They say he’s lost 45 pounds this year. I’d like to lose that much! I’d also like to be in Memphis cooking for the old man. I’m certain he wouldn’t say no to some of my lasagna, mac & cheese, or meatloaf. He liked it a lot when I cooked for him while we lived together. And I was working out 2-3 hours a day back then and was not so worried about being super-healthy with my foods.

I’m realizing more and more that I don’t feel like I know what is “healthy” anymore. I think that lean meats, vegetables, fruits, no processed foods, minimal sugar, and minimal grains is good. I think eating rice is okay because I don’t feel bad afterward. I also think I’m okay eating some dairy because I my allergy test didn’t say I was casein or gluten intolerant. I also think that working out more has to happen. I don’t think that just walking is cutting it.

I miss the days when I used to be a “gym person.” You know the type – the ones who go to the gym for at least 2 hours a day… the ones who know what machines do what and who have a routine for each day that changes… I wonder if it’s even realistic to think about being that way again. I know I used to overheat myself regularly and have problems hearing and feeling the bottoms of my feet. It’s probably not smart to go in that direction now that overheating means “having seizures.” But I really miss weightlifting, and know that it’s the fastest way for me to shed weight. At least for now I have Wii Fit and yoga, and really, no valid excuses at all.

This whole “having no excuses” thing is kind of a ballbuster! It’s forcing me to admit to myself that I’m badly overweight and not in a rock band or making music because I’m lazy and/or preoccupied with other things. What’s worse is the realization that I have come to accept these things about myself, when they are things that upset me and that I have the power to change relatively quickly. All I need to do is start working out and recording my practice sessions.

I know blog posts are supposed to have a point usually. This one is more like a diary entry more than anything else. Just another day going by in the life of your everyday, not-so-average MS & seizure disorder girl — fighting the good fight, so you don’t have to. 😉

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