I realized this afternoon that I’d forgotten that a blog is like a lover. It needs time and attention, not at my whim, but every day. I realize that by posting irregularly, I abandon my readers, and for that, I genuinely apologize.

I tend to forget that this blog is for more than just me… that it’s more than catharsis or a note to my imaginary friend.

See, I’ve been online so long that when I write my blog, I never imagine that anyone is going to see it aside from me, and maybe my mom if she has a minute. So, when I check my site views and see that this place has been visited more than 6000 times, it kind of blows my mind.

So, you’re here for me. I’m here for you.

To start things off, I want to thank you for your time and for your attention. I hope my blog helps you in some way. I’m never sure how it’s going to come out, but sometimes it’s better than others.

I write about my life, what I eat, the kinds of things I do, what it’s like to have MS and a seizure disorder because I hope it’ll help others with MS and/or seizure disorder feel less alone and feel more hopeful, and I hope it’ll help others who are healthy feel more empathy for those of us who aren’t.

Lately, I haven’t been connecting to my best self. I’ve been moving and setting up house. I’ve been unashamedly eating fried rice, beef chop suey, pepperoni pizza, and birthday cakes almost weekly. (July is brutal!!!) I feel gross and have gained an embarrassing amount of weight in a short amount of time.

Adam and I are looking at gyms right now. I have a “free” membership at the YMCA that’s a 15 min walk from our home through the SilverSneakers program, but we are both worried about me getting home after the workout. Right now, after about 20 minutes of walking, I start having problems seeing, and after 30, I start having seizures. So, there’s no telling how I’ll be after a workout.

See, it’s Uhthoff’s syndrome. Sometimes, when my body temperature rises (sometimes even half a degree), my MS symptoms start to show up. First my numb toes, then pain in my legs, then my eyes start to suck, then I have seizures. It’s awesome, let me tell you.

But I can’t keep being sedentary. I refuse to do that. My body shouldn’t deteriorate simply because I can’t heat up. There are swimming pools, at the very least, even if it’s scary to be in them w/ the seizure disorder. They have lifeguards for those situations. Anyone could have a seizure underwater. I’m just more aware of it, and I won’t be ruled by fear.

Anyway, I’ll be sure to let you know how it works out.

Tonight, Adam and I are going to work out a menu for ourselves for the week. We’re redoubling our efforts to eat Paleo because it leads to good things, like weight loss and less pain.

I’ll be sure to keep y’all posted with the things that we make that we haven’t seen anywhere else.

Hope you’re having a good day!

❤