I think I just realized we’re not moving back to CA — at least not within the next decade.

Part of me wants to cry and throw a temper tantrum about how hard I worked to get to the city where the TV convinced me we’re all supposed to want to live. (Not to mention how much I actually loved living there.)

The other part of me is excited we’re looking at houses, and is glad to be somewhere that we have so much of an emotional safety net, filled with friends and family.

This state’s laws blow as far as compassionate caregiving, and there’s no Pinkberry or ocean, but if we get a place in the city, at least there are trains and a bigass lake that’s got a beach of sorts. And I’ll miss the hell out of r0x0r parties, but at least here we have Biel-bashes out in Indiana.

Right now, the things about CA that I’m really missing are (in no particular order): Ethiopian food, farmers’ markets, the arts being EVERYWHERE, performance venues being all over the place (not that I performed, just that I had the opportunity), and the topography! I miss the hills, and I miss my friends, though I try hard to keep up as best as possible through Facebook.

But the best thing about IL is that my husband is gainfully employed somewhere that values him, and where we have the kind of security necessary to build a life together. That’s something that’s far more necessary than any of the things that I miss about CA.

Another thing I really like out here is how green it is. There are trees everywhere, and there are loads of lovely hiking trails and places to go on nature walks — lots of nature preserves.

So it’s not even half bad that we’re staying here. It’s just something that I’ve come to accept.

Sometimes you can think that you’ve found where you belong and it can end up being someplace else entirely. I guess things like that change from moment to moment.

I mean, we’d never be able to afford a big home in Burbank, CA, but we’re able to look at places out here with 3 or 4 bedrooms and stay within our price range. Ultimately, we get more bang for our buck in IL!

I guess it just means I have friends out west who I just HAVE to visit. Lucky me! 🙂