Of the things about having MS and Seizure Disorder that have really sucked wind for me, losing my ability to drive and having failed the bar exam because I was repeatedly seizing during the test are two of the biggest. Those two things have equated to a total lifestyle change for me.
I spend most of my days now either alone while my brother-in-law sleeps (He works 10 pm to 6 am.) and my husband is at work, or I get dropped off at my in-laws house to chill out with Aunt-in-law (crafter extraordinaire!) and Father-in-law (who doesn’t talk much). Not exactly the entertainment attorney or musician lifestyle that I had previously anticipated for myself… That doesn’t make it bad, just different.
My Mother-in-law asked me what I was up to over dinner last night, and I just started rattling off all of my hobbies, basically: jewelry making for my Etsy shop, practicing guitar and piano, learning new cooking techniques and recipes, spending time participating in online support groups for others with MS and seizure disorder, writing poetry, and blogging… coloring with my left hand from time to time, meditating, doing yoga with my Wii fit, making new buildings and parks for my Sims in Sims 3 and fancying myself a creator of worlds…and missing fostering kittens, but looking forward to doing so in January.
I felt this weird pull to have some sort of “real” job I was working toward having other than “homemaker,” but I have no idea what I want to do or what I can do regularly for more than an hour at a time. Still, I feel like for the first time in my life, I’m seeing what I’m actually about instead of just chasing money. And that feels good.