…I described myself as any good D&D-loving girl properly raised by a prosecutor would — “lawful good.” Knowing me as well as he did, he said, “Now, now, you vaporize medical marijuana to help you with your MS! That’s still federally illegal! Does that make you feel nervous, or bad still? Surely not. You’ve gotta be ‘neutral good’ by now.”

Truth of the matter is, even though I know that I am doing something medically proper in my state and something that helps me every single time I use it to not feel absurd amounts of pain, I feel like a horrible person each time I use marijuana because I was programmed by my parents so hardcore not to do it and I caused so much trouble for other children who smoked weed as a kid. I think about how many kids got grounded and yelled at because of me, and I worry about being targeted by the DEA because of how openly I’m willing to talk about my use on the internet, even though every person with multiple sclerosis or epilepsy (either or both) ought to be allowed to have medicinal marijuana. It helps.

But then he said something that blew my mind. “If you ever feel bad, look at the members of Congress. Every law ever written came from guys like those.”

That statement made me realize that my guilt was based on the instinctive belief in the moral infallibility of legislators. All legislators are politicians. And politicians are not known for their moral infallibility.

It is deeply flawed thinking to believe that the law is always just or right or on our side.

*deep sigh*

I know, I sound like Dale Gribble. But I really believed that the government was our friend and that everything was just fine until just recently.

It’s really not fine with me at this point.

Not when we can’t fire the congresspeople who don’t do their jobs or who betray us and instead we have to wait till the next election. Not when we have no restrictions on Wall Street where people can short sell the market for billions. Not where the insurance industry makes the disabled pay more for their insurance and medication than the government provides, so they necessarily become homeless and die so that the rich don’t have to think about them anymore. Not when the 4th Amendment is becoming more and more of a lie.

I believe in the America that my Grandfathers fought for. I believe in the one that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. marched and died for, and I believe in one that can I proudly, patriotically can call home, where the government does not seek to further divide the classes. I believe in a United States of America, where we work together as citizens to stop the oppression of the lower class and middle classes, and take proud, peaceful action together to care for one another as the family that we are.

That’s just not the America that I’m living in. Yet.