So for several days now, I’ve been wanting to get back to writing. I’ve thought about In It For The Parking every day, and for whatever reason haven’t allowed myself to write, though I have no trouble responding on message boards elsewhere. (lame!)
There are a million things that I want to talk about, but what finally got me to come to the site and post was accidentally stumbling upon something I had already written that hadn’t been shared here, and that happened to be very timely for me.
I think, sometimes, it’s a good idea to look back on our diaries/blogs/journals and see the things we’ve said – find the wisdom we’ve left behind. Maybe here and there, there’s a recipe for awesomeness you’d forgotten how to cook up. Here’s the one I found today.
1.) Happiness is not an accident.
Happiness happens because of a series of choices that you make. You don’t have to be happy with the choices when you make them, and what they are doesn’t have to make you happy. It just has to be on the way to a goal that makes you smile. Happiness is doing things that move you towards something positive.
If you want to be healthier, choose to work out, even if it’s for 10 minutes and it’s really hard. Choose to eat well, even if it’s easier to grab McDonalds. Choose to floss your teeth. Choose to take your medicines on time, every day. Choose to go to therapy if you need it. Choose to ask for help when you need it instead of being too proud.
“It ain’t about how hard you can hit – it’s about how hard you can *get* hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward.” –Rocky Balboa
2.) You don’t have to owe something in order to get something.
Gifts and friendship and love are not the cause and effect of doing things for people. You can give the most important gifts to others by simply living your life and letting them bear witness. You can receive the most important gifts simply by letting others give of themselves, of their time, and of their love to you.
I have the hardest time accepting kindness from people who I haven’t given to. I have to bake or give a gift or improve their career or lovelife, or somehow give of myself before I can accept that someone wants to do something nice for me.
That’s not the way life works. That’s not how it has to be. Certainly, it’s good in life to give of yourself and of your possessions to those who need it, and sharing is caring – but so is accepting love and help when you need it.
If you can’t let others give back to you, it can make them feel small, and you will be left wanting. Let yourself experience life, friendship, love, kindness, charity, goodness — all the things you would give to others — allow yourself to get those things too.
3.) You deserve to give yourself at least the level care you would give anyone else.
You are born alone. You die alone. No one is responsible for your happiness, your health, or your future the way that you are. Even children have to take personal responsibility for the choices in their lives.
Character is not something you have to work at. Character is what shows up when you are forced to make decisions you don’t want to make. You get to see what you’re made of.
Some days, I’m made of tough stuff. Other days I think I’m not.
The most important things to remember are these:
Just because you don’t know your life’s purpose doesn’t mean that your life lacks purpose.
Just because you don’t feel strong doesn’t mean that you’re weak.
Just because you have a disability doesn’t mean you’re a disabled person.
Just because you can’t see the forest for the trees doesn’t mean there’s no forest there, and it doesn’t mean the trees you’re looking at aren’t important and/or beautiful.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one’s around to hear it, I’m pretty damned sure that it still makes a sound.