hi.

I don’t know what it is about being out of town that makes me feel like I have permission to not check my email or post on the internet… but I barely even answer my cell phone or want to have contact with much of, well, anyone, really if they don’t have to do with the wedding.

It took one week to find the venue (apparently), one week to find out that it actually WAS the venue (since all the others we looked at did not out-do it, though 2 came very close!), and now we have 1 week until we go home.

1 week to do flowers, cake, DJ, photographer, etc.

Last night was fun. We went to do karaoke at a bar that was across the street from a WalMart and it was surprisingly awesome inside. The audience, however, was kinda odd. I got to go twice in a row because no one was signin’ up, so I did “So What” by Pink and “Fear” by Lily Allen. Last song of the night for me was “You Can’t Hurry Love” by the Supremes for Adam.

Wedding planning with this particular set of disorders is a trip. You’d think all the stress would cause me to have tons and tons of seizures, but oddly, I’ve had fewer seizures here in the last 2 weeks than I’ve had in a long time. I’m having more today, but that makes sense considering that the little pink pills that remind me that I’m a lady are comin’ in a day or so. You didn’t even have to look at me sideways this morning and I started crying. It was awesomely wrong. I laughed and cried at the same time earlier. It made me think of Mom. When the hell did this crap start?!? You got me… but I’m rolling with it.

My best girl, Jenny, called me tonight, and I got off the phone with her right away. It’s crazy how much I seem to hate the phone right now. Maybe it’s because at the moment, I’m never really alone. Not that I distrust anyone – just that I haven’t had any time to truly reflect. I’m very “in the moment” here, which is pretty fantastic in and of itself. 🙂

Then again, not being able to think in an organized fashion all the time isn’t awesome when you’re trying to really plan.

Oh woe is me. Life off my computer… so this is what it was like!!!! (sorta…) *lol*

Anyway, I’m tired. Running around after a soon-to-be niece on a playground and getting all worked up over the ideas of things that just simply aren’t true just simply will tucker a woman out.

What an awesome thing to post about, playing on the playground with the little one. 🙂 Sure, I had to sit down for a while, but it didn’t even used to be something I’d think about.

Overall, this has been a good trip so far. 🙂

*waves*

Not sure how, but I’ve managed to luck out on the seizure front while I’ve been in Chicago!

I’ve been pushing myself pretty hard, walking a lot, actually, and despite the pressure of wedding planning driving me to that special kind of crazy that even I am ashamed to admit that I can be sometimes, there’s been more crying than there has been shaking — and Kleenex and hugs can take care of that.

Overall, things have been great, though. I got a fabulous wedding dress for a great price at the Brides Against Breast Cancer sale! We may have already found our venue, and I think we have something better than a wedding planner lined up in a couple of great, creative friends. Still, we haven’t gotten to check out florists or bakers or photographers or any of that… and it’s pretty much time to go home. And there are venues yet to be seen!

I swear, there are moments where life seems like I’m in the middle of a gyroscope and that I’m hanging on for dear life, simply because I have no idea which way is up, but fortunately, just like being in the middle of one of those, I know that I’m not about to hit anything dangerous anytime soon. I just might get a little sick at my stomach while I’m busy getting a new perspective on the world around me.

*deep breath*

I know this isn’t a great entry. I know I haven’t given you quality words in a while. I just can’t let you in right now, you great big world, you… except to say this….

Chicago has got to be the least MS-friendly area I can imagine. There are stairs everywhere. EVERYWHERE!

Did I mention everywhere? Because, yeah. That’s where they are.

Also, I officially admit to being totally converted to a Los Angeles girl. I asked the venues I went to whether or not they had a vegan option for my friends. When one of them showed me picture of a great big broccoli stalk with 2 baby carrots and a flower next to it, I busted out laughing and said that I wasn’t paying $45 a plate for an overcooked $1 stalk of broccoli, and that it hardly qualifies as vegan cuisine. They were actually confused AND OFFENDED. When I offered to send them vegan recipes, they were uninterested. They don’t think it’s possible to cook delicious food for vegans. They think it’s so unusual that they don’t need it.

I wonder what would have happened if I said I was a vegan bride. Or if, heaven forbid, I was still on the Swank diet and needed them to care for me that way! Geez, they could have lost an account! What then?!? WHAT THEN, HUH!?!?

Oh, Midwest… you make me laugh. 🙂 And you made me miss Los Angeles. Well done. *golf clap* 🙂