I’m not one to jump on a band wagon of “OMG THERE’S A CURE!!!” or even to get my hopes up, especially about something as serious as MS.

That being said, I’m extremely optimistic about The Liberation Treatment. (<– Awesome Canadian TV show behind the link with a ton of explanation and science, if you're interested!)

An Italian doctor may have found the cure for MS in an attempt to cure his wife – the situation being that the veins in the jugular, chest, and sometimes spines of MS sufferers narrow so significantly that heavy metals, such as iron, are not properly removed from the brain.

It's called the Liberation Treatment because they use an angioplasty treatment to open the twisted veins (which they believe form that way during pregnancy), and it liberates the blood from the twisted vein. Of course, many treated patients said they were liberated.

I've been reading and reading about it, and I'm going to make myself (and whoever cares to read) a good post on it and what's been found so far – the resources so far that are out there and whatnot as I find them.

I'm very serious about finding out the level of my blockage and fixing it, if it's significant, which I'd bet good money that it is. Whether it's just "temporary relief" or a total cure, it's sound science.

Step #1 for me is going to be finding out the level of blockage.

Another thing for me to think about is a diet change – maybe to the Swank Diet.

Now, I know what you’re thinking… “But Rae! Wasn’t that the first thing that you asked Dr. Giesser about? And wasn’t her RESOUNDING answer, “NO!”

Yes, and yes.

I wanted to jump onto whatever “cure MS NOW!” I could, and she said that there was not enough science to back the diet up – that it was more important to eat healthfully, and that she didn’t want to give me false hope on unproven “cures.” I see the above-mentioned information as science that backs up the Swank diet, and I’m almost certain she’ll feel similarly about the Liberation Treatment.

Now, I’m not saying that I think the Swank diet by any STRETCH of the imagination would be a cure, but that by keeping a diet low in whatever the problem things are in my blood-stream that are filtered by my blood, I can at least help things out while doing what can be done.

Besides, I gave the Swank Diet a good look over tonight, and it doesn’t look all that much different from the South Beach Diet. Worst case scenario, I’m unnecessarily limiting my dietary choices and giving myself a false sense of hope during a time where I have very little. (very little down side) Best case scenario, it helps!

Basically, I’ve come to the realization, that if I want to live, and moreover, if I want to live well, I’m going to have to fight for it. Everyday. Maybe every moment. I mean, I’ve had to deal with what I thought was mental illness for years, and knowing that it’s been at the hand of MS and questioning myself for years when I really DID have problems… among other things… it’s just *sigh* beyond time for ME to be a fighter against MS.

I really feel like this is it for me.

The fight for my life.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it’s not. I spend 88-95% of my waking hours in pain of some kind. I constantly question my stomach. I wonder, if I feel hungry, if I’m hungry, or if it’s an aura… if it means I should walk into the kitchen to fix myself a snack, or stay as far away from tile and cooking implements as humanly possible. I never know if it’s safe to walk, even to the bathroom, and my spirit is to strong for this weak body.

On days like today, where I was lucky enough to get an IV-SM treatment, I had about 2 hours of feeling good where I got to sit at the computer and play Sims 3 with Adam before I started feeling hungry and then dizzy, and then was having seizures again. So I took a nap, woke up, ate some lunch, watched TV, and then did it again.

But I’m sitting here writing an entry right now, and that’s what matters! 🙂

Because I want to live. I want to write my book, and sing my songs, and someday be a momma to Adam’s kids. Yeah, I said it.

I realized that this might be the fight for my life when I realized I no longer even held out hope that someday I’d be a mother. Not even that someone would let me adopt. I didn’t even want to go on, thinking that I wouldn’t have the energy to even see my kid, or that if I did, they’d have to take care of me. Because, let’s be real, I sleep, like, all the time.

But! As Aerosmith said in “Livin on the Edge,” – If you do what you always do, you’ll always get what you always got.

So, like Avis, I will continue trying harder.

Tomorrow is another round of IV-SM, and then therapy. I have all the info for doctors who are researching the Liberation Treatment, and I will be systematically contacting them starting tomorrow. And I’ll start the Swank Diet. Lucky me, I already started the Vit. D supplements on my own last week.

Now if only I could drink enough water to feel hydrated… for some reason, a half gallon a day isn’t even kinda gettin the job done, which is odd, considering all the not moving around I’m doing.

***note to self, add Gatorade to grocery list.

I’m so on this. 😉