I am becoming SOLDIER tough!!!

I woke up this morning, like I do every morning, to the sound of my dog barking. He’s come to anticipate my 8 a.m. medicine alarm, and for whatever reason, his bladder and colon no longer have the patience to wait those 15 extra minutes for it. I wasn’t sore about it. I love Brisco, my little “helper” dog (who I think finally said “screw it, if she’s gonna have seizures all day long, there’s no way I can warn her” and just became an awesome pet).

I walked outside with him and felt, for the first time in God-only-knows how long, normal. And happy. No pain in my back. No pain in my hips or knees or ankles or anything. We walked halfway down the block! It was awesome. The loose stool wasn’t so awesome, but I’m guessing Brisco didn’t enjoy it anymore than I did, except I’m guessing we’re both very glad it wasn’t done in the house. 🙂

It wasn’t until I was back in bed (Please don’t judge me harshly, I’m due for another Solumedrol IV at 11 am today!) that the back and leg pain suddenly reappeared in a very real way.

I know it’s not as bad as it has been because this is after a 6 day long oral steroid pack and a day of IV-SM, but HOLY CRAPSTICKS!!! The pain is bad. Ok, that’s like saying “Slimer from Ghostbusters was gooey.”

I had no idea I’d been just going about my days handling the kind of pain that very literally zaps you of your will to live life normally. I was all but tied with invisible ropes to the bed.

You know, my mom told me that a nurse who worked on my grandfather just knew that he was a WWII veteran because he never let anyone know he was hurting. He died of undiagnosed lung cancer. No one had any idea because the man didn’t really complain. She said old soldiers just learn to live with the pain, they just walk around with it and don’t start complaining until it’s too bad to handle.

Yesterday, when the nurse put the needle in, she said it was gonna hurt — the needle slipped, and I didn’t even flinch. This from the girl who used to have to be chased around the pediatrician’s office to be given a shot. This from the girl who used to have to use the autoject to do her nightly Copaxone shot! *flexes imaginary toughness muscles* 🙂

So, told Adam what was up, and loving, wonderful man that he is, he got me some water and the Gabapentin. I am medicated and awaiting the nurse for my 11 a.m. appointment. At home. 😀

Whoever created the at-home IV-SM service, I salute you! Anyone who can remove the necessity to wait 1.5 – 3 hours in an Urgent Care waiting room, and then 3 hours for the drip to run and instead replace that with having a nurse come to your home and run the IV for a total of 1 hour while you watch TV from the comfort of your own bed or couch deserves a salute. Or a parade. Or fireworks. Or all of the above. With honors. 🙂 I mean it! 🙂 And what I say GOES!

Because in the war against MS, I am the very model of a modern major-general. 😉

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