Totally Wii-diculous Awesome!

Also, our Wii came today! None of the games or the extra controller came, though – so we downloaded Dr. Mario and a Monkey Island Game. Adam and I haven’t moved from the couch to do, well, much of anything today… which is good, since he’s sick as can be, and I’m teetering on the edge of well.

I’m not yet sure how the “playing games with your friends over the internet” thing works yet, but I love the idea of it.

This Wii is a box of magical happiness for me. 🙂

Great site found – Tasty Treats By Michi!

Tasty Treats By Michi is an awesome recipe blog kept up by a lady who’s been on the Swank diet for 5 years. This blog features beautiful pictures and easy to understand directions with all of her recipes – many of which she created on her own by modifying already awesome recipes to fit the standards of the Swank diet.

For someone like me, she is saving me OH-so-much time on certain recipes, and I hope, sincerely, that I can return the favor on some of my favorite dishes as well, as I learn the ropes myself.

Her creamy potato soup

What really won me over was that she has recipes for some of my very favorite dishes of all time, like creamy potato soup, buffalo chicken bites, a low fat version of creamed spinach (which I cannot wait to try!), and even Swank-friendly eclairs!

Modified eclairs, people! On a damn near fat-free diet. THAT is creativity and science and dedication and belief in your food choices. I’m inspired. 🙂 And hungry.

So, like Alton Brown would, I bid you Good Eating! 🙂

I’m 30 minutes off from one of my favorite Dolly Pardon songs. :)

Today I worked from 9:30 to 5:30. Crazy! A normal working day, and I made it all the way through. Only 3 seizures during that time! All atonic.

I had a few time travel seizures today, which was odd. Haven’t had any of them in a while, but I had 4 today. One around breakfast time in the car, and 3 this evening. One was really cool because I didn’t know what my cell phone was, and when Adam flipped out his, I freaked OUT thinking it was just like Star Trek… I was so stoked!

And I got to fall in love with Adam again tonight. 🙂 One benefit of those forgetful seizures. I get to see him anew. My word, is he beautiful to me. Even when I am post-ictal (meaning “after-seizure” – sort of in that weird “not quite all the way awake” state), all I can think is that he is the great love of my life. *sweet gushy smile* Okay. I’m all warm and fuzzy over here. Enough of that!

So tomorrow is New Year’s Eve. It’s said that what you do on New Year’s Eve kind of sets the tone for the new year. I’m pretty sure I spent NYE on the couch, having seizures and feeling like crap last year, and I’ll be damned if that isn’t how I spent the majority of the year. I’m gonna see if I can’t change it up a little this year. Adam’s sick with what I was sick with this past week, though. Unless things change and he feels better, it’s gonna be the two of us, a video rental, and the couch again – same as always. I wonder what I can do to make it special somehow. Sparkling apple cider, maybe?

I do think that I’m gonna have some black-eyed peas if I can find em, on New Year’s Day, though. What can I say — you can take the girl out of the South, but ya cain’t take the South outta tha girl! 😉 Baby needs some good luck this year, and superstitious or not, it can’t hurt to get some extra protein and fiber. Of course, I also kind of hate black-eyed peas. (Sad truth…) I might just dip apples in honey like it’s Rosh Hashanah, part deux… but even I know that’s cheating. 🙂 Still, if it makes you happy, what do you need luck for? Hm… things to think about!

So what are you all doing for New Year’s Eve? What are your New Year’s Day traditions?

As for “resolutions,” I think I’m pretty full-up already, what with the Swank Diet and studying for the bar exam while still having a job.

In all, I think I’m headed in the right direction for a good 2010. I just have to keep my cool and remember to take every day one at a time. Honestly, I’m really looking forward to it. 🙂

I think this year is going to kick ass.

Don’t get me wrong. I know I’m going to be doing a lot of work, but I think I’m finally going to understand how to live without unnecessary stress. It’s like I’ve finally remembered how to achieve by “forgetting” the larger goal and simply focusing on the tasks at hand. I finally feel like things are going to be okay. Whether it’s the increased Cymbalta or me doing the work psychologically – or the combination, I’m very, very glad for it.

So – in case I forget to post tomorrow – Happy New Year everybody!

I hope 2010 brings you enough happiness that you feel pleased with life, enough challenges that you aren’t bored, enough strength and grace to weather those challenges with ease, and enough humor to make the stories good. 🙂

Po didn’t quit, and neither will I.

I just registered for the February 2010 Bar Exam.

I know I’m going to need a private tutor help me with essays, because I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why I didn’t score better last time… but if life and MS has taught me anything, it’s this: persistence and practice always pays off.

MS might slow me down, but I won’t let it stop me. I had it when I took the LSAT, and it was untreated then because I didn’t know it existed. I still made a 164. I failed the MPRE the first time. I took it again, and I passed it. Why should the bar exam be any different?

Ultimately, it comes down to confidence. I’d say I let MS rob me of it, since the seizure disorder took away my ability to drive or even to walk around my own house alone sometimes… but no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So ultimately, I’ve just been feeling sorry for myself for too long, and I’m ready to feel stronger.

I know I’ve got this in me. I wonder how many other people with MS are taking the CA bar exam. It’d be awesome to have a study group together.

Wii Did It!

Adam really wanted a Wii. Apparently, he’s been wanting one since it came out, and the fact that I suddenly wanted one even a little was enough to put it over the edge. (Who knew?)

When we realized 1.) that it would increase the percentage of all of the Amazon purchases made through me for the month considerably (to the point that the New Super Mario Brothers game would essentially pay for itself), 2.) that I remembered that we can download and play 2 player Dr. Mario, and 3.) that it also means we get to play games online with friends all over the world, my resistance to purchase the thing that would make me happiest was broken.

Sure, the bed makes more sense in the, you-spend-1/3rd-of-your-life-in-it way. But we also would have had to buy sheets and a new blanket and all that. Right now, we have a very comfy setup, even if it is small.

As for the couch, we didn’t blow our entire wad, and I have some ideas on how to comfy it up… involving pillows and memory foam.


“To Wii, Or Not To Wii?” – That Is The Question

For my birthday, Chanukkah, and Adam’s Christmas present, all wrapped into one, my parents have given us a sum of money, so that we could either get a new couch (ours is getting worn out) or a new bed (2 adults sleeping together on a full sized mattress is doable, and not uncomfortable, but also not spacious).

But then, this weekend, I spent a good deal of time playing around with my parents new Wii and the Wii Fit balance board, and I got this crazy idea in my head about getting one for us so we could play games and have fun and get fit too, and even play games with my folks over the internet on their Wii. The best part is, working on my balance and doing games on the Wii Fit balance board would really be the kind of stuff to help me out with MS-related balance problems too, and give me and Adam a constant way to have fun new ways to work out at home – not to mention all the fun games we could play that have nothing to do with working out.

I asked Mom and Dad how they would feel if we used the money to get a Wii and Wii Fit instead, and they said, “It’s your birthday/Chanukkah/Christmas money! Do what you want with it!”

And yes, I do realize if we get the Wii, we’ll be sitting on the worn out couch to play it…

Don’t get me wrong. This is half Adam’s decision too, but before this weekend, I was all about getting a new couch. And now I might want a video game system. And I might be using MS to justify it to myself. *lol* Messed up, but true.

Edit: Also, if I buy the Wii and all the games through Amazon, I’ll get money back, since I’m an affilliate – so I essentially get 10% back.

What do you think makes the most sense?

This is what happens when I’m up late…

I filled out the volunteer questionnaire for the Combined Transcranial and Extracranial Venous Doppler (CTEVD) Evaluation in MS and related Diseases study in Buffalo, NY.

The main goal of the CTEVD study is to investigate the prevalence (frequency) of CCSVI in patients with multiple sclerosis (MS) when compared to healthy controls (HC) and controls with other neurological disorders (OND). Another important aim of the CTEVD study is to investigate the relationship between CCSVI and clinical, magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) and environmental-genetic outcomes in MS patients, HC, and controls with OND.

There are no treatment interventions planned in this study. The study procedures include doppler/ultrasound testing, blood collection, a clinical examination and completion of an Environmental Questionnaire. Interested participants can also have an MRI performed. A subset of these individuals with also have an MRI of the neck veins.

Setting the bar too high?

Just a quick note to let everyone know I haven’t dropped off the face of the planet.

I have a part-time job on Tuesdays and Fridays, but this week, I worked on Wednesday too. I’ve got a little bit of a head cold, and I haven’t really had time to think enough for a good entry.

I keep thinking about taking the bar exam again in February. But it’s a bad idea. But if I don’t do it now, I have to take the MPRE again, if I want my license. It makes it that much more unlikely that I’ll ever be an attorney because taking the Bar Exam is bad enough, but having to retake that test too is just ridiculous.

The moment I felt healthy again, I wanted to take the Bar Exam again, and I thought I could do it. The moment I got a head cold and felt unhealthy again, I thought I’d be ok, but wasn’t sure – then the MS symptoms kicked in, and I thought there was no way.

I mean, do I really want to try to take the test again in February while keeping a part-time job as a file clerk? How much of a superwoman do I have to be? What am I trying to prove? Is it that I can pass any test? Is it that I’m worthy to be an attorney? I don’t need a license to work with production companies or musicians doing the kind of work I want to do. I can be a manager or an agent or any other number of intermediaries. I just worked so hard for it. I want to see it through.

That’s just IT though… I *DID* see it through. I *TOOK* the test. For me, that *WAS* seeing it through. I spent 3 years working hard and I earned the J.D. That was my goal, and I did it. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to take the bar exam, but I decided to. Then I got hospitalized. TAKING THE TEST WAS THE GOAL, AND THE GOAL WAS COMPLETED!

If I’m honest with myself, I’m struggling at work right now. I had a HARD day today, and all I did was work on contacts and file things for 5 hours. My body is weak. My mind is slower than it used to be.

Is it that I won’t accept that I have limitations? Do I just like making myself miserable? Or do I really think I’m going to end up being one of those people who helps set up contracts for a movie or two or three and can afford to buy a house and send her kids to college?


I just need to be as well as I was when I was in law school. And, in theory, this is just a stupid headcold. These zinc losenges should take care of it. I wouldn’t have quit law school because I got a headcold. If I can commit myself to 2 months of working on stuff I don’t like, I can have the future I worked hard towards for 4 years still. The only things standing in the way right now are fear about my health and my inadequacies, and my health and my inadequacies.

*takes a deep breath*

Thanks again, journal. You’ve helped me once again realize that I am more disabled by fear than I am by multiple sclerosis.

I’d be foolish not to give it another shot in February. If I could do it before, I definitely can do it again. I just need to find a way to manage the stress better this time.

It’s my birthday! I just want to CELEBRATE!

So true! So true. Since it turned midnight last night, I’ve practically been shaking my booty in my pj pants, I’m so excited to be 29 years old.

Now, technically, I shouldn’t have been excited until around morning-time, but I don’t care. The 21st is the 21st. If it’s close enough for public record, it’s close enough for jazz… and that’s close enough for me.

I BEAT 28. HA!

Now, those of you who know me really well will know that the “Ha!” just there was punctuated and created specifically to look like David Tennant’s version of The Doctor from BBC’s Doctor Who. And I guess those of you who don’t know me really well will now know that too. 🙂

I love Doctor Who. There are people out there who don’t love the show, and who will talk about the massive plot holes and its detractors, and I can *fully* appreciate where they are coming from, but I love the program. Specifically, I like it because regardless of its preachy nature (yes, I can admit that it’s got more than a little bit of a self-righteous science vs. God bent) it constantly pounds home the following ideas:

  • Almost any problem can be solved if you stop panicking and use your resources and your brain.
  • No matter how much we may like it to be otherwise, each of us has a unique place in time and space, and that cannot be changed.
  • The length of a life cannot begin to measure the impact it has on the future, not for a family, a community, or even the whole of creation

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m no BBC advert over here. I just was thinking about the most recent episode earlier today. The next one comes out on Christmas. Adam got a new episode on his birthday, and I think I’m just jealous. 🙂

By the way – this is SO not the entry I set out to write. Maybe that one will come later. I guess that’s what happens sometimes.

Or Fork? Diets…

Okay, so before, I jumped on the Swank thing because Dr. Swank had talked about the veins narrowing back in the 1950s… but I didn’t take the time to go through all the different diets out there that are supposed to help people with multiple sclerosis to figure out which one is right for me.

I’m in love with right now, just for existing. I could seriously hug the people who have put so much hard work into the site. Especially the

So – here are the options of what’s out there. This is what I’m lookin at.

The Swank Diet, which is very simple, and thus is the front-runner:

  • Saturated fat should not exceed 15 grams per day.
  • Unsaturated fat (oils) should be kept to 20-50 grams per day.
  • No red meat for the first year. After the first year, 3 oz. of red meat is allowed once per week.
  • Dairy products must contain 1% or less butterfat unless otherwise noted.
  • No processed foods containing saturated fat.
  • A good source of omega-3 along with a multi-vitamin and mineral supplement are recommended daily.
  • There are no restrictions on wheat, gluten or dairy, but any foods that an MS sufferer is intolerant to should be avoided.

Best Bet, another diet, which I think may be overly restrictive:

  • Avoid all dairy, grains, legumes, eggs and yeast.
  • Avoid all allergenic foods which are identified by skin and ELISA tests.
  • Avoid all red meat and margarine
  • Eat fish and skinless breast of chicken and turkey, for protein fruits and vegetables for carbohydrates and micro-nutrients and extra virgin olive oil and unrefined sunflower oil for fats.
  • Take as many of the 17 recommended supplements as your budget allows.

More as time and my patience allows…